Today we get to celebrate Father’s Day for the first time – last year, this day became special and marked a turning point for Scott because I finally let him in on my little secret, and his life changed forever.
When we think of “Dad’s Day” you often see advertisements and hallmark cards that poke fun at Dad’s being the ‘Fixer’ or Dads watching sports or playing golf.
This week when I was thinking back on my fondest memories of my own father while growing up, they involve fun and laughter.
We got to go to the pool all summer long, we played Monster on the bed, he took our dog sledding down a hill, he spun pizza’s on Friday nights and we had a family basketball game on Sunday evenings. On vacations he led the way in the adventures we had from building sandcastles, to deep sea fishing to paragliding, and surfing just to name a few. And my own love for travel comes from watching my dad’s curiosity to explore different parts of the world.
And now I can’t wait to watch Scott led the way for fun with Townes and to watch as our own fathers embrace their roles as Pops and ??? (maybe Bear Paw).
And while the fun teaches us how to embrace life and not to take things too seriously, Father’s also play a vital role in our development into adulthood. Dad’s offer wisdom, loving correction, and life lessons that help you discover who you are and on what path you are traveling.
I also recognize that I was fortunate – my dad was present in all endeavors. Townes will be fortunate, Scott will be present, always. One day, I can’t wait to tell him how his dad will always be his biggest advocate and the first 3 months of his life will serve as the baseline.
But some children are not as fortunate – but we all have a Father. A Heavenly Father.
So if you have lost your father, you need to know you still have a Father. If your earthly Father, failed, you need to know you still have a Father. If your earthly Father wasn’t present, you need to know you still have a Father.
He is all-loving (Psalm 103:13), He is over it all (Ephesians 4:6), He knows it all (1 John 3:19-20), He restores it all (Deuteronomy 30:3-13), He Listens to it All (Jeremiah 29:12-13) –
He is the Great I Am (Exodus 3:14).
I had a beautiful revelation of our Heavenly Father the other day and what it means to enter into his presence. I have been working through some of the pains I have in relation to the day Townes was born – emotional pains that now that we are at home, I realize I have been holding.
At 12:33 pm on February 6th, Townes was born. We heard a small cry; Scott leaned down and said to me “that’s good.” We heard another soft cry and Scott leaned over and kissed me on the forehead.
No words were spoken, no report given, I didn’t get to see my newborn son, much less hold him, my son’s condition remained unknown to me. And then, they were gone; I was alone with tears streaming down my face. Questions unanswered, the future in limbo.
We had a plan in place, arrangements made, but no one can prepare you for the emotional scarcity that you experience when trauma occurs. I finally made it back to my recovery room where I found myself on a seesaw bouncing back and forth between calm and emotional. I knew once my mom and Kyle arrived, I would feel better, less alone.
Kyle was our appointed messenger – Scott would call her, and she would update me. I would finally get a report on my son and his condition – would he need surgery today? Once they arrived my seesaw stabilized – a little – but Kyle didn’t have an update yet, so I was still left with unanswered questions.
But then my dad walked in and I felt my insides start to crumble. My voice cracked as I said, “hey dad.”
Hearing him call me by my childhood nickname, “hey Spunky – oh, don’t cry” flooded me with emotion, some of these emotions I still can’t place, but I felt the strong walls I had built start to come down brick by brick.
I have thought about this moment so many times; it still surprises me when I replay it, but it’s a beautiful picture of how we can feel when we are in the presence of our heavenly Father, of what is available to us.
I felt safe, protected, loved, flooded with relief, I felt peace. Somehow just seeing my dad and hearing him, endearingly call me by my childhood nickname, gave me confidence, strength. For this brief moment, I felt as if all was going to be okay.
It was as if in that moment of just seeing my dad, I was living a true example of Psalm 91. If my mom was the mother hen, hiding me under her wing, my father was standing guard to protect against all things, shielding us, the two who he has claimed as his own.
Looking back, I realize the Lord mirrored himself to me in my earthly Father that day – he showed me who he was and more importantly who he is, how he would carry me in the weeks and months to come. The strength I would need – he would supply. The peace I would need each day – he would unconditionally offer.
That moment is symbolic, it represents the true nature of our Heavenly Father. It’s a moment amidst all the uncertainty of what we were facing, I cherish.
On this Father’s Day, my prayer is that you would experience this too. That our Heavenly Father would remind you that you do have a Father, always and forever. That his love for you knows no bounds, that you can approach his throne with confidence and under his wings you are safe and secure, protected. That he longs for you to call him ABBA.