When I think back to October 6th, 2012, the day we said we “I Do”, the day we committed to the highs and lows, the joy and sometimes the sadness, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, you still have no way of knowing what lies ahead. All I had was the confidence that the Lord had called us together and the confidence that I was marrying a man that would seek after the Lord.
Does that mean he got it right all the time? No. Does he get it right all the time now? No. Do I? Definitely not (even though all my occasion cards more times than not include snarky comments about how I am perfect or right all the time – I digress and insert humility, ha).
Scott did have the foresight to institute a rule early on in our new marriage called “The First Year Rule” which was essentially like calling a mulligan in golf, but what it allowed for was space for grace to exist for each other, for us to learn, to grow. ‘The First Year Rule’ grew into the ‘Second Year Rule’ and so on – although over the last few years, we (he) hasn’t had to use it as much, we decided to reinstitute it. And I have a feeling that all those times I didn’t call it, I may now and at least for these first few months I will blame it on the hormones – because why not? But for now I want to write about the man I married.
I am not typically a crier but when I think back over the months during my pregnancy, mostly after we had the diagnosis, I only cried a handful of times over what lie ahead but the topic that could make me well up the fastest was if someone asked me about Scott.
I remember within the first few weeks of receiving the news, I was standing in the bathroom just staring at my reflection in the mirror and he walked in, wrapped me in his arms and said, “It’s okay babe; you don’t have to be strong. I’ve got you.” I replied with, “I know you do, but who has you?” His response was something so simple, but yet, so profound. Something that I will never forget and has absolutely been the way he as led and loved me over the last 6 months.
Scott has led with confidence and courage. He has displayed strength and humility. He has loved me and held me. When I would have sleepless nights, he would intentionally stay up until after I was asleep (or so he thought) and pray over me and Townes. He never missed a doctor’s appointment and there were some weeks that we could have three or more. He is a man that has never faltered in his love for the Lord, his belief in the goodness of our Heavenly Father and that he remains a God of Miracles. He has led with such a bold faith that my own spirit could be built up. King David is a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14) and so is my husband – he has relentlessly and reverently leaned into our Savior during this season.
My favorite Christmas movie is “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” because for other than the obvious reason that Cindy Loo is adorable, its at the end of the movie you learn that the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes. My love and admiration for the man I married has more than multiplied 3 sizes over the last 6 months.
And then his son was born.
Our son is 21 days old today and over the last 3 weeks, I have watched Townes’ father become his biggest advocate. He makes all the doctors rounds, he keeps a running list of all the doctors, nurses, nurse practitioners, etc etc etc that we meet. He takes interest in them, to learn about them, to connect with them. At this point, as far as I am concerned he has earned his Associate’s degree in medicine (and this is a guy who has suffered from a phobia of needles and up until three weeks ago could barely even walk into a hospital) – he has been mistaken for a doctor at the hospital more than once and gotten a parking ticket warning for parking in the visitor lot. Scott has the ability to retain every medicine, every adjustment the doctors decide to make and the next day in rounds he will repeat what was done the day before and ask inquisitive questions to understand the whys. Frankly, for me, this has been so helpful. Some days are better than others but my brain simply can not retain or recall half of what they say. Scott walks in wisdom and discernment to be his son’s biggest advocate.
We got moved to the 10th Floor a couple weeks ago and the second day we were here, I overheard a nurse outside our door walk up to Scott and say, “we have another parent asking for you. I have never had that happen before. You impacted his life and he may hug you when he sees you.”
I was finally able to ask Scott what that was about and here’s what I learned. My husband, amidst our own circumstance, our own uncertainty was encouraging others – pointing them to the truth of our Victory in Christ. He met this dad when we were on the 4th Floor NICU, in the Quiet Room (maybe 5 days after Townes’ debut) and realized this dad, had just walked the same path he did several days before. His son was just born, his wife was in recovery, and he was faced with talking to all the doctors about their sons heart – it was overwhelming, it was discouraging, it was emotional. So Scott invited him to get some pizza, it’s as simple as that. Scott told me he doesn’t even remember what he said – he just asked if he wanted some pizza. My guess is that Scott encouraged him, offered community, a listening ear, understanding and validation for everything he felt, Scott showed him love.
That is the man I married and this is only one story – there are many. Another family we have met are going to start going to church when they get home with their daughter and Scott helped them look for a church in their area. Proverbs 3:6-7 says “Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” For us in this season, I have watched Scott do just that, ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart’. He has followed the Lord’s path and that path has led him to share the truth, to share the gospel, the good news of our Savior.
I am proud to call him my husband, my partner, my friend, and my son’s biggest advocate. Scott has lived out Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” because I have witnessed the results of him leaning in and pursuing the Lord with all his heart – myself and Townes are the immediate benefactors.
Townes has the best Father, leader, teacher and role model. This doesn’t mean he or I will always get it right, but if we keep pursuing the Lord, it opens the door for us to live from a place of grace instead of perfection because its the Lord’s grace and light that come through. And now you can decide…doesn’t Townes look just like Scott?!
Often over the years, I’ve found myself pondering God’s love, his grace. I’ve asked myself what does it look like to fully experience his love overflowing, to feel as though you are walking in his grace abounding? Have you? I know it happens, Townes’s miracles upon...